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You suck.

Everyone else has been amazing, everyone you dropped in my path has been spectacular, amazing and helpful in ways I hadn’t even thought of.

Except You.

And me.

Why do You bother with me? Why do You still care? I asked you not to. I asked so many times. So why won’t You just leave me alone? Why do You still love me?

And why can’t I accept that?

I just want to… not even to Fuck. I should stop telling myself that. I want to take care of myself. I’m tired of you at the reigns. I don’t feel taken care of, and I don’t like what you’ve done with my life.

This sucks ass.

I’m alone, lonely, even with friends, living in these constant flux leases in a shitty, awful place, trying to deal with a burgeoning sexuality I can’t even explore or enjoy that feels like it’s going to swallow my life no matter what I do, and I’m going to have to delay getting work to beg for a job that I don’t really want and that feels like a cage.

I fucking hate this. And there is no end in sight.

You let me down. I want a turn. Or for You to fucking step up and show me how to follow properly.

I have tried, as well as I can, and it’s not good enough. So if you won’t fix me, why should I stick around?

What. Am. I. Here. For.

What. Is The. Point. Of. Trying.

Why. Did. You. Make. Me. Like. This.

Why did I get to be happy, and why did You take it away.